singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
