I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
