jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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