I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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