I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
