we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
His nipple licking is glorious
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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