That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
