Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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