question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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