how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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