Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
