I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
