I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
