I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize