Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
