are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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