Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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