We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
