Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
