You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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