he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So vagazzling was a success
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
