I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
