i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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