So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
