My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
