We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
