Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
