Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
