I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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