Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
