I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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