I am puke
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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