New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
