I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I love having hate sex.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
