Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
