Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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