Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
