I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
