The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
