Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
worst night to have a conscience
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize