Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
