I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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