help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
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