Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
