she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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