I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
