i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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