By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
