At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
