You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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