i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
