So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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