i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
