If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
