What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
