So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
