I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Come on in and take your pants off
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
