i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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