she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
