escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's no shave November. This is our time.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize