Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
