so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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