i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
its not stalking. its research.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Randomize
